Beds, Knobs and Room Tricks

Greetings, people. Well, turned up to Hammersmith Hospital
today with my not modest amount of luggage and equipment
and after a modicum of flapping, it transpires that “there
is no bed for me today” Apparently I was to wait
for a phone-call or call to check or something- I thought
it was all booked in but I guess such is the topsy-turvy
world of cancer treatment. No worries, I will move in
tomorrow *almost definitely*. The Hickman Line replacement
is set for 9am tomorrow (I wonder does it go in the same
vein or a different one? Will let y’all know). Not a
wasted visit, I had the-now-obligatory blood test and
the weigh-in. I am now 11.5 stone (74.9kg). Heavier than
pre-leukaemia! That proves my amazing scientific fact
of the day:


Yes, you heard it here first, folks! We can all accept
the Nobel Prize, together. (If the stage can support
the weight)

Burn, Baby, Burn!!!

Also today I had my pre-Radiotherapy talk and signed
the consent form to allow them to play Captain Picard
with me. Here are the possible and probable side-effects
of the 6 zappings:

  • Complete hair loss (I can now float in my bath and
    pretend I am a pre-cog in minority report)
  • Destroy Cancer cells Well that would be nice while
    I’m there .
  • Nausea Yes, I know.
  • Mucositis Hence the nose-tube for feedings. Idea for
    new cookery program called “Can’t Eat, Won’t Eat” where
    celebrity chefs create gastronomic delights that can
    fit in a 5mm tub
  • Fibrosis Bit worried about that one- I hope to enjoy
    a life of hiking & cycling etc. But I guess I need
    a life to start with…
  • Increased risk of cancer Bugger.
  • Infertility Yes, I know. Hence the little visit to
    the bank before Chemo started.

This machine costs

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