Hello Milt-Heads!

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and I’ve slept like a trooper. (A particularly sleepy trooper on valium).

It’s Valentine’s Day Eve.

I would like to encourage all visitors to send loads of valentine messages to your friends & lovers this year. You KNOW it feels good receiving them, be honest now…

Fizzy Fingers & Tingling Toes

The effects of the vincristine chemotherapy have still not abated. My fingers are just as numb and tingly as 4 weeks ago. It is most evident doing fiddly jobs: opening packets, turning pages and PLAYING GUITAR. Oh well, vincristine saved my life in Phase I so can’t really complain – I will keep you updated on the latest developments: FingerWatch…

Heaven Forbid

Okay very dangerous territory here. Lethal. But I would like to talk a little about religion. Now, I know people can become fiercely upset about this subject; even taking up arms to defend a point of view, so I will apologize in advance for any offence my personal opinion might have on the reader’s sensibilities.

I would have to say that I lie somewhere between the atheist and agnostic camps. I see such beauty in the world and at times I imagine that there is some order to the universe, but in general I do not sense the presence of an omniscient, benign entity keeping tally on our little lives and readying the scales for the after-life: Accept HIM and avoid the eternal barbeque etc.

This does not mean I don’t believe in the value of faith, compassion, morality and spirituality. However, I have never seen such things as dependent upon a belief in a G-dude – but hey that’s me. In fact, perhaps these are INDEPENDENT values from religion – we all know what damage can be done in the name of most religions.

I also fully admit that I know NOTHING and believe very little. Which means that I am completely open to suggestions and am not hanging onto any belief (or non-belief). So I am ready to listen to any ideas people have: the world was created in seven days, an after-life, water/wine tricks, karma, dinosaur-fossils as “faith-testers”, elephants with special powers, the A-team and so on. Really I am.

What I have difficulty in accepting is that any human, or group of humans on earth have THE ANSWER. How can they know for sure? Faith? Well there exist people with equally strong faith with completely different beliefs – so who’s right? I humbly suggest no-one.

I always wondered when it got down to it and my life was on the line, would I pray to a newly-found God. Well, I know the answer to that.

I didn’t and I don’t. (gasp)

The only belief I felt was that in my lust for life, joy of music and love for my family and friends.

I have the utmost respect for everyone’s opinion (clearly the greatest art has been created with the love of God in the heart). However, I do not relate to:

  • The need to impose one’s belief on others, door-to-door or otherwise
  • The belief that one book holds the truth and if you haven’t read it or don’t believe it, tough tutus, it’s eternal toasted crumpets for you.
  • The ‘fear’ of holding a differing opinion. Following a religion ‘just in case’ it is true. I call that ‘After-Life Insurance’ and surely an ominscient geezer would see right through that trick fairly sharpish.
  • I wouldn’t want to believe in a God that ‘saves’ people who accept some doctrine without questioning it and ‘damns’ those with independence of thought or the courage to think differently.

What I do know is that I believe in, and love: life, music, people, nature and creativity.

I am not sure if I am a ‘good’ person, I just do what feels right to me and I do my best to appreciate the life that I have been given. Clearly, I make many, many mistakes and have done regrettable things in my life. If my thoughts means no harp & wings and a mighty long time in the furnace, then so be it. At least it will make a change from the bloody English weather.

Love, peace and good will to you all – my friends, everywhere.


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